And I couldn’t be happier. Here’s what the June 15th Apple e-newsletter(http://www.apple.com/enews/2006/06/15enews1.html#top) had to say about the Seanachai: (more…)
All they want to do is eat your brains. They’re not unreasonable.
(featuring songs by Jonathan Coulton and The Flavor Foundation)
I’m going to edit a number of stories and collecting them into a book. As I rewrite an edit them I’ll post them here on the blog. And there’s no place to start like the beginning.
So, there’s this vampire living in my attic. I mean it might be some other kind of undead semi-human – but I’m pretty sure it’s a vampire. On the skids just like I am. Because I live in a tiny, crummy little house. Hence, tiny, crummy little attic. He has to pry open a little half window thing to crawl in and out. And he’s not nimble or graceful. In fact, he sounds kind of clumsy.
I suppose I should be afraid for my life or eternal soul except; He has horrible taste in music. And I’m not talking about a self-stereotyping predilection for mid-80’s goth. Oh no. I mean, BAD music. Real guilty pleasures. Music that is in no way appropriate for a Lord of the Night. And what’s worse – he sings along.
It’s unbelievable. He comes home, drunk off his ass after inhaling the blood of some weak willed college student and sings along with the some AM Gold hit at the top of his undying lungs. You’re not a Lineman for the county, you’re a fucking Nosferatu and you should have some self-respect.
Many is the night (his night, my early, early morning) that I lay in bed screaming, “Kill me now! Kill me now.” in a vain attempt to be heard over Lionel Richie, Diana Ross and what I can only assume is Dracula’s gay nephew. Vlad the impaler indeed.
It is sad, but I don’t think he actually kills anyone. He’s more of a scavenger vampire. Somebody wanders out in front of a car, bang, he’s right there with a straw. A friend of mine who works EMS had to mace him twice last week. Honestly, what kind of vampire is dissuaded by Mace? Maybe a mace dipped in holy water.
But what are you going to do? I take pity on the guy. And I’m certainly not going up there in the middle of the day to put a stake through his heart. Attics are hot. Besides it’s an old house and I’m hoping the fiberglass insulation will make him so itchy that he’ll go away.
But if I have to hear how Brandy is fine girl one more time – All I’m saying is there are limits.
So this odd little tale jumped into my head fully formed in the middle of a sleepless night. I heard an odd thump in the ceiling – it was a new house and I could not be certain of the usual noises of the place – and I wondered, “What in the hell is in the attic? What if it’s a vampire? Wait – what kind of vampire would live in my crappy attic? It’d have to be a pretty pathetic vampire. Ah, I could probably take him. Might as well go back to sleep.
But it was too late to talk myself back to sleep. I was already at the computer and typing.
I thought I’d take a moment to type about the podcast and how it’s doing.
My father is a very quantitative kind of guy. And I have sometimes had difficulty understanding that point of view. Any attempt to codify or quantify writing just seems to wreck it. (Hello Microsoft Grammar) But I shouldn’t beat on Microsoft, it’s been going on in English ever since the Chancery in Merrie Auld England. But recently, I’ve found great comfort numbers.
Especially this number - ‘209′
The Seanachai transfered 209 gigs in May. At an average episode size of 5.9 meg that’s 34,711 episodes transfered. With a weighed average size (just the last 5 episodes) of 6.6 meg an episode that’s still 31,030!
Here’s what the traffic looks like since we launched the new site.
(anybody want to guess about the mystery spike that happened right after I posted a Change in Orbit?)
No clue. Here the numbers become amibigous. The numbers only show who downloaded - not who actually listened. And of the people who downloaded and listened, how many episodes did they download? Just the two I posted this month - or did they go back and listen to more?
No clue. (Sure feels like numbers are turning on me once again.)
If you say only two episodes. 30,000/2 = 15,000 listeners. Let’s cut the episode number in half as a “fudge factor” and I’ve got 7,500 listeners. Or maybe each listener listens to 20 episodes a month for the first three months and then listens to them as they come out.
How do I find out? Maybe a survey? Seriously, all ideas are welcome.
