Episode Script

To suggest to you that Topper was a great respecter of traffic laws

– Yield, I’m not yielding to these assholes!

SFX: SCREECH, CAR HORN

well, yeah, there you go. With Topper, might made right of way. And the guy who swerved while playing chicken.

–Muchahhahahahah!

SCREECH, CRASH IN DITCH

He deserved to wind up in the ditch.

So it’s easy to see how, after a long day driving around in the hot sun in search of some idiot who dressed himself like a bullfighter, he’d have no problem, leaving his Leopard Print Lotus Elan with custom pedal extenders half on half off the sidewalk in front of his favorite bar.

CAR DOOR SLAM

–What? What are you looking at. I’m only gonna be a second. Don’t make me climb up you and kick your teeth in. No buddy, I was talking to your wife.

It had been a long day, and Topper was thirsty. And I won’t say that the bartender was happy to see Topper clamber up on one of his barstools, but he did take his money for a double Chivas rocks. But while Topper vented his spleen, tenderized his liver and did something unsavory with his colon, the unexplainable march of El Justiador marched on.

SFX: OLD SCHOOL V-8 ENGINE CREEPING ALONG

A black El Camino with a hand-painted flame job and a crudely airbrushed portrait of a blindfolded Lady Madonna Justice on the hood, rolled up beside the Lotus.

EL JUSTIADOR – “Double parqueado Senior, Double parqueado.”

Four men wearing work clothes, carrying crowbars and wearing Mexican wrestler masks jumped out of the back of the El Camino. Whether the exotic Italian sportscar meets the crowbar wielding itinerent worker, or the crowbar wielding itinerent worker meets the Sportscar, ah, you know….

SFX: SMASHING THE CAR

– Oh you wetback sonsofbitches

SFX: GUNSHOTS Bang, bang, bang.

But Toppers shots, from his rediculously oversized handgun, went high, went wide, went South, went through an innocent bystander’s leg across the street and then Topper was entangled in blur of ropes and weights.

–cursing

Topper might have recognized these ropes and weights to be a skillfully handled traditional Bola.

–Cursing

Topper might further have reflected upon the debt the American cowboy owed to the Mexican Vaquero who came before him. Realizing that all the tools of the cowboy used were perfected by Cabelleros long before American spurs jingle jangled across the Texas Llano.

–Cursing

But he had other things on his mind. Extreme anger SFX:KLUD! followed by a concussion.

They threw Topper’s unconscious body in the back of the car. Truck, whatever an El Camino.

Vamandos Muchachos!

SFX: EL CAMINO PEELING AWAY.

He didn’t take up much room.

{Lorenzo di Medici promo}

technorati tags:Patrick E. McLean, Seanachai, TheSeanachai, podcast, How to Succeed in Evil, El Justiador, A.M., Edwin Windsor

So with that, enjoy the first part of Edwin’s involvement with El Justiador!

technorati tags:Patrick E. McLean, How to Succeed in Evil, Edwin Windsor, The Seanachai Podcast, El Justiador, comics, evil

(featuring songs by Jonathan Coulton and The Flavor Foundation)

The music in this episode is by The Flavor Foundation.
Available at http://www.theflavorfoundation.com and in the iTunes music store.

There’s also another piece of artwork up at http://www.succeedinevil.com

How to Succeed in Evil has moved to its own website. All episodes past and future will appear there from now on.

I’ll level with you. This is a comic book idea. Only I can’t draw, so here it is. It’s also a nice way for someone who works in a consulting capacity ( me ) to take out some frustrations on the world. It’s not the honest differences of opinions that gnaw at my guts. It’s the people who make the dumbest imaginable mistakes. And it’s not that they won’t listen to me, it’s that they won’t listen to anyone.

Eventually, life catches up with stubbornly ignorant people, but it’s all so avoidable.

In the next Episode: the not so sinister Dr. Loeb.